Risks taken, approval, but a bittersweet after-effect for me...

Discuss the Visa & MasterCard payment networks as well as cards that operate through them.
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FakeHealer
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Location: California

Risks taken, approval, but a bittersweet after-effect for me...

Postby FakeHealer » Thu Jul 24, 2014 10:47 pm

About a week ago, I was pretty set with my current credit cards(Amex BCE, Amex PRG, Discover IT, & Chase Freedom) that I had applied for back in December & January. But I did a lot of reading on here, & combined with a heavy desire to travel within the next 8 months & a need for a higher limit Visa/Mastercard, I thought it might be good to get a new card soon. The choices were narrowed down to the Marriott & the Barclaycard Arrival.

Being rather paranoid about getting denied for the Marriott card, I also applied for the Barclaycard Arrival(no annual fee), so I could still have a No Foreign Transaction Fee card in case Chase denied me. I applied for them both on the same day within 1 hour of each other, and I was approved for a $3,300 limit with Barlcays. Then I tried for an exclusive offer of 70,000 Marriott Points with $1000 spending and got my favorite message(Your application requires review!). I saw this coming a mile away, as I had been denied for the card back in January when I went on my previous application spree.

So I called immediately, armed with a somewhat of a battle plan to convince them to reconsider, and though I gave many reasons why I wanted(not needed) the card, the lady initially seemed reluctant to approve me, due to my low income. She asked if I had some funds hidden away that I didn't list that could help approval odds, and I mention grants from college(which she said didn't count). She asked if I had any other funds, & I reluctantly asked if an inheritance counts, and she seemed think I was lying, & kind of had a little attitude in response. But when I told her the inheritance was money I had inherited from the death of my mom earlier this year, she seems to change her tone on everything. She put me on hold for a few minutes, and then told me I was approved for a limit of $5,200(my highest limit).

While I'm somewhat glad to have both cards, especially the Marriott(which I received in the mail today), as I realize how useful it can be. But at the same time, I still felt really bad because the money I mentioned that "helped" my approval with Chase was gained through the death of my wonderful mom, & it feels morally wrong to have mentioned it(even if it was truthful, & not something I wanted to mention). An inheritance has always been "blood money" to me, & I never wanted one(I'd rather have my mom back), so this approval "helped" by the inheritance felt bittersweet(& somewhat wrong!).
Favorite Cards:
Amex BCP: $9000
Amex PRG(NPSL)
Discover IT: $5700
Hyatt: $5000
Chase Freedom: $4500

Occasional Use:
Barclaycard Arrival(no fee): $3300

Rarely Used:
Marriott Premier Rewards: $5200
Citi DoubleCash: $2000
Cap 1 Secured: $750


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kcm7
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Postby kcm7 » Fri Jul 25, 2014 9:58 am

FakeHealer wrote:An inheritance has always been "blood money" to me, & I never wanted one(I'd rather have my mom back), so this approval "helped" by the inheritance felt bittersweet(& somewhat wrong!).


I'm so so sorry for your loss.

I kind of understand the feeling. My grandmother left me some money when she passed away a few years ago. For a few months, I couldn't bring myself to do the paperwork and actually transfer the money into my bank account. Every time I tried, it hit me that I didn't want the money, just wanted her back.

Eventually my mom (my grandma's daughter) told me to suck it up, that grandma would have just wanted me to take the dang money and buy a fabulous dress.
Cards:

-Capital One Quicksilver
-Barclaycard Arrival (no AF)
- US Bank (no rewards)
-IHG

Yeru
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Postby Yeru » Fri Jul 25, 2014 5:35 pm

I didn't know the Marriott card was desirable. I figured most people with decent credit get approved for Marriott no?

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CarefulBuilder14
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Postby CarefulBuilder14 » Sat Jul 26, 2014 12:57 am

FakeHealer wrote:An inheritance has always been "blood money" to me, & I never wanted one(I'd rather have my mom back), so this approval "helped" by the inheritance felt bittersweet(& somewhat wrong!).


In the following, I am assuming that she either died with her mental capacity remaining, or that you two were very close before she lost her capacity. I am also assuming she either had at least a basic estate plan to leave the money to you or knew that in the absence of a plan, a good part of it would go to you by default.

Your mother knew that the day would come that she wouldn't be there for you. An inheritance is a way she can continue to help you. It's not the same as having her there with you - and she understood that. Love and care are the best things, but when she can't be there, leaving you her property is what she can do. She couldn't take it with her, and wanted you to have it.

Maybe you feel that until/unless you acknowledge the inheritance fully, she isn't irretrievably gone? It's a common reaction after the passing of a loved one.

Keep in mind that your choice is not between getting your mom back or keeping and making use of what was her money. It is between keeping, using (and even enjoying) the money she wanted you to have, or not having anything to do with what she left you.

You should definitely not rush to do anything 'weird' with the money anytime soon. Grieving heirs are popular targets for unscrupulous people selling risky/complicated/expensive financial 'solutions'...annuities with a lot of fine print...speculative investments, etc.

Maybe you can use part of the money to do something to honor her? A gift to a charity she liked? A trip to a place she wanted to one day go with you? Again, I'd urge you not to rush to anything, but now is a good time to brainstorm possibilities.

I wouldn't get any more cards for the time being. 6 is a lot to keep track of as it is.
Wallet: Prestige CSP SchwabPlat Freedom It Hyatt SallieMae AAPlat
SD: Arrival BrooksBros BCE ED IHG
Letting new accounts cool off since May
Really not sure what I'll add next or when

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FakeHealer
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Postby FakeHealer » Mon Jul 28, 2014 4:40 am

@kcm7: I greatly appreciate your condolences. That's about exactly how I felt, especially when I went to close my mom's bank account to get the money. My mom had taught me everything I knew about money & banking(excepting credit cards, which is courtesy of a denial for my dream car, and this wonderful forum), and I had even been under her account til I was over 18. So I felt like I was erasing her from history. The only thing that made me do it was that I knew I had to get it done in order to prepare for her funeral. Also, the dress statement made me smile(no offense meant in anyway by that) :)

@CarefulBuilder14: My mom died from multiple head injuries from accidental falls sadly, but we were still very close, especially up until I last saw her alive. She never had a real plan/will that I recall, and I was more or less left her account money and her wonderful furniture she loved to collect because I am her only son(and heir). This was an odd oversight of my mom's to not have a will.

You could kind of say that, but more cause I didn't want to "erase a piece of her from history." I'm too sentimental for my own good you could say, & I have fond memories at the bank with my mom when she was teaching me how to work with money and such when I was a kid. Also, I just didn't want it because money isn't important to me(family & music mean most to me). I did however take it and use it to help pay for the funeral plot & funeral services, so I could honor her in the best way I could with what she left me. The other money was saved for a day when I know I might need it(say for automotive tools for my future, or for if money is needed during a crisis). Thanks for warning me about those kind of businesses though! :)

I'm pretty much content and need/want no more cards for a long time(though I do have 2 Amex's I want on the horizon, for AAoA purposes and benefits for travel). It's not too much for me to handle though, thanks to my love of math, my mom's teachings, and my crazy memory recall(a benefit of me having Autism) :P Those factors make it much less complicated than it would normally be otherwise. :)

I do thank everyone immensely for the advice, kindness, & condolences. Your similar situations/advice has given me some other ways of looking at how to carry on, and how to think about something like that :)
Favorite Cards:
Amex BCP: $9000
Amex PRG(NPSL)
Discover IT: $5700
Hyatt: $5000
Chase Freedom: $4500

Occasional Use:
Barclaycard Arrival(no fee): $3300

Rarely Used:
Marriott Premier Rewards: $5200
Citi DoubleCash: $2000
Cap 1 Secured: $750



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