Well gave up on job search

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MemberSince99
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Well gave up on job search

Postby MemberSince99 » Tue Mar 18, 2014 7:21 pm

I just can't do it. I don't like what I get where I am but when it comes down to it, I simply can't switch. Reason is I work for a friend of mine, and I feel like I'm betraying him, and I can't do that. So I've set my resumes back to private.


I'm one of these nuts who lets a sense of duty get in the way of his own desires it's why I stayed in a dead marriage for years beyond what I wanted to, and it's why I'm just settling for this. So I deserve what I get. That's the honest truth. My friend became my boss a few months ago, and right before that I had made up my mind to leave because this place is so dysfunctional, he knew what he was facing coming in, and I can't just leave him, as much as I'd like to find what I'm looking for. So, I have no right to complain about it.


linuxmachine
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Postby linuxmachine » Tue Mar 18, 2014 7:34 pm

Hopefully it works out for you in the end. Best wishes. You always got here to vent :D

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Vattené
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Postby Vattené » Tue Mar 18, 2014 9:58 pm

You sound like a good friend to have. Does your friend know about all this?
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MemberSince99
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Postby MemberSince99 » Wed Mar 19, 2014 7:03 am

Thank you. No I was going to tell him I was looking, he already knows in full detail the issues, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it, and so I just ended the search. I was going to anyway because I couldn't do it but then he called me his "right hand man" and it was like a punch to the gut, how do you do that then? I have no idea, I couldn't. I gotta stay in this at least long enough to help him get things under control there. I don't know how long that is, maybe a year, maybe more, but I'll know when I feel ok about doing this and it's not a betrayal but just moving on to find what we need to find in what we do every day. Right now is not that time.

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Postby linuxmachine » Wed Mar 19, 2014 12:24 pm

IMHO... if he really thinks of you that way, at the very least I hope you keep a level head and make sure he's got your back. The last thing you want is for him to take advantage of a situation and then leave you SOL once he gets his stripes. Not saying he is that kind of person. It's just a pattern I've seen happen often times. Do what's good for YOU first, and if you got room to help others, then that's the best situation to be in. I would never take a hit for a friend unless that friend was like family to me.

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Postby jlam572 » Wed Mar 19, 2014 1:02 pm

I was good friends with a boss before. If hes really your friend he will be happy with you improving your situation. Why isn't he doing anything to fix your current problems at work right now?
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Vattené
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Postby Vattené » Wed Mar 19, 2014 7:00 pm

Very understandable. It sounds like your workplace has a very screwed up culture, but hopefully his being in charge can help improve the situation a little.
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Postby JoDa » Wed Mar 19, 2014 10:32 pm

Maybe I'm the bad guy but I don't think your loyalty to your friend should trump your happiness if (IF) you think the disfunction will be more than temporary. Start-ups and re-starts can be hectic, and it can be very rewarding to be part of the start or the turn-around, but if the disfunction seems more permanent than that, how much can you really do? I'm not saying leave or stay, just realistically assess whether your presence will help or not make much of a difference beyond making you feel like "a better friend." I stuck around in a turn-around business a few years back and it was AWESOME, but I knew from day one we were taking steps every day towards turning a frog into a prince. Had the same-old, same-old been playing out, I would have bailed, with apologies.
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