I had to laugh - the clue meter is reading 0

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I had to laugh - the clue meter is reading 0

Postby MemberSince99 » Wed Jan 01, 2014 12:03 pm

I was reading an article on Yahoo talking about "corporate culture", and how companies have to lay out their culture. It went on to say some of them articulate their values in an employee code of conduct. Yeah, THAT will really push people to stay till midnight I'm sure.
Many of us, myself included, have been handed those 60 page documents full of BS that we all have to sign off on. It hasn't pumped me full of enthusiasm to pull all nighters yet, but I suppose there are a few out there that might work with (there's a few idiots in every crowd).

Another example given was a CEO asking his people if they trust him to steer the company in the right direction, then asking if they trust him as a person. He reported that over 90% of the responses were "extraordinarily positive". Yeah, I'm sure they were, and the other 8 or 9% were put on the "next to be downsized" list. I mean come on anyone with an IQ higher than their age KNOWS that if you tell your CEO you don't trust them, you aren't likely to be there much longer so your resume had best be up to date. Seriously what did you expect? Of course the employees have to say they trust his Godlike genius and the wisdom of Soloman to guide the company to new heights and the promised land, and would he exhale in your direction so that maybe some of his brilliance can make it into you. You know, BROWNOSE. I just can't believe these clods are so clueless they don't "get" what's going on here. But on the plus side, they can string together more buzzwords in a sentence than the average bear can, along the lines of "Our mission in 2014 is bring value to the customer pipeline while maximizing shareholder return and leveraging our synergies to proactively cross the boundaries of the business units and maintain customer focus while achieving total quality". If you can randomly spew sentences like that, have a lot of hair and are tall and look good in a suit with a winning smile, you are CEO material. It also helps if you have a good golf game.

Yeah these people are utterly clueless morons. Makes you wonder how they stay in business. I suspect it's due to the people below them who actually know what they are doing and somehow, despite the "help" of management, manage to do enough of it to keep the wheels on.

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Postby Vattené » Sun Jan 26, 2014 7:21 pm

Do you happen to be a fan of 30 Rock? They satirize corporate culture a lot. In one episode (1-05), executive Jack Donaghy (Alex Baldwin) excuses himself from a conversation with underling Liz Lemon (Tina Fey).

I'll be with you in a minute. I have a conference with my corporate division head.

Liz (sarcastically & making up words as she goes along):
Oh yeah? Are you guys gonna...correlate overseas earnings report dynamics?

Jack (after a beat & with a straight look):
EX - 804 (10/16) | TU - 803 (10/16)
Primary Cards:
American Express EveryDay - $20,000 (10/14)
Discover it - $23,000 (2/14)
AU on Barclay Sallie Mae - $10,000 (8/15)
plus several store accounts of varying usefulness now

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