Just figured I would post a bit of an update on what's going on in my life. I'm stuck in a dilemma and I just don't know what to do right now. This is a long post but bear with me please
Anyways. So I posted a thread about six months back about me wanting to join the Military (specifically the Navy). That went well, lost the weight....and went to MEPS (Military Processing Entrance Station) Scored decently on the ASVAB (got a 77) and passed everything on the physical except the duck-walk (walk around squatting..just lost my balance and that caused me to fail) and something called an Ear Lavage (basically they just need to clean out my ears so nothing major.) My mom threatened to throw me out if I went back there again saying that us "Pakistani's don't do these types of jobs" and my dad saying that most of the people in the service are failures and have nothing else..or they need money for school...etc. I want to be in the Navy specifically because I believe this country gives people like my parents who immigrated 25 years+ back a lot of opportunities and we should pay it back by serving this country. I'm 21 so I'll only be 25 when I decide to come out. If I hate it, then It'll be a life lesson for me but I can still recover and make something of myself. So basically...I wanna go back soon and I will hopefully this month...and then leaving in March of next year.
My other Dilemma is this. So a few years back, I went through a bad break-up where my ex cheated on me. In anger I deleted her number, texts, pictures, and anything else that reminded me of her. A few weeks back, I had to get my cars maintenance done, and decided to have lunch with one of my friends who I've known for a long time. Along with her was her sister and my younger brother (they invited us out to lunch since they love the kid...he's eight...her older sister joined us later.) So anyways, we get there (the three of us) and she starts telling me about her ex and how their not together anymore (he lives about 60 miles away.) She starts telling me about how he drove all the way from his house to the animal shelter out here and dropped off both dogs that he bought from my friend. So I, being the good friend and knowing her for this long and along with my brother decide to accompany her to the animal shelter and get them out and take them to her house. So on the way there, we talk and the more I think about it, the more I started liking her just because we know each other for so long, get along really well, and just whole bunch of other things. My younger brother even noticed and suggested something but I brushed him off.
Anyway, she drives us back to the dealership and we proceed to pick up our car. Then, later that night I text her thanking her for taking us out...and we had a good time. So a few days later my mom starts giving me the spiel about how I should be like my younger brother and go to school, how I'm a bad influence on my younger brother and how he's going to end up just like me...blah, blah, blah. So on the pre-text that I needed to vent, I asked her to meet me at Starbucks that's really close to my house. So, she says okay...but she gets late. I, in the mean time just decide to go to the mall and kill time. Then, she decides that it's too late to get coffee let's get dinner. Being that this was my idea, she suggested Pizza and I obliged and paid for our meal. So in the course of the car ride, she was telling me about her ex and how he cheated on her twice, and would be emotionally and verbally abusive towards her...dude was basically a total douche, and I being the supportive/sympathetic friend/guy listen and tell her that she doesn't deserve to be treated like that and she deserves better (she's also really pretty...and unfortunately some of the prettiest women out there are treated the worst). So, while we are there she starts telling me about her sister's wedding and how her sisters husband (brother-in-law) gave her number to one of his friends. She and I are 21, this dude (her bro in laws friend is 28). So she was telling me that he failed his MCAT twice and so on but he's pretty good looking (I'm average). And how he's sounding like he's ready for marriage... We then start talking about the Navy and how she's really proud of me. I then asked her to describe me and stuff...since she's known me since we were in 1st grade (they live on the other side of town but we've known each other for a long time and were almost always at their house) Then I ask her to remember what my brother suggested. She starts laughing and I simply asked her out that instant (I think I caught her off guard). But then she says that I want to do this often and talk and stuff and If I won't be here for 6-7 months on end it'll be difficult, and how it'll be a huge step in our friendship. I didn't pressure her or anything and she said I'll think about it. We talked more, and then she asked me how long I've felt like this. Told her "since the day we met" but I couldn't ask her or tell her when we were little because I'm not the type of person that outwardly expresses his feelings. Then she was dating other guys, while I was in a relationship of my own. Anyway she left and I went home. But now, it's been 3 weeks and I'm starting to wonder what's going to happen. Because she knows that I'll never be unfaithful towards her, treat her how she deserves, and so on because I genuinely like her. However, her sister's wedding was the week after this and I didn't bother asking since I knew she was going to busy, that ended and now it's been a week after school started. I know she's busy but I'm hoping she didn't forget or something. I'm just stuck because Idk if she feels the same way about me, I don't want it to become one of those things where once I get out of the Navy and we're both still single, I don't want to ask her out again simply because if she doesn't want to be in my life now, she won't want to be in it later, or she might be taken and be mistreated by another guy like her ex (this would be her fault, but I care about her and I don't want her to go through what she went through). Part of me regrets asking her (I don't regret anything tho) Part of me is glad I did, and part of me is hoping she says yes because I want to spend as much time as I can with her before I go. I mean I've known her a little over 15 years, I was hoping for something...some inkling. If she says no, it's fine. I'll be a little hurt but I'll move on. I just don't know what to do guys. I really don't. Either I move on with her or without her, but I am at a loss on what to do. What should I do? have any of you been in a similar situation? What do I do now? keep hoping I'll get an answer or just drop this and move on? If need be, I can clarify or add whatever was left out.