Guys...What do I do?

A place to discuss anything... except credit cards!
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onion
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Postby onion » Tue Sep 02, 2014 4:47 pm

Snowman wrote:I'm going to try that onion.

Also, yeah, a degree is important but really how much is it worth to employers today unless your going to some sort of graduate school as well.


A bachelor's by itself is still pretty useful even if you don't end up going to grad school. Lots of entry level jobs won't even consider you if you don't have an AA or BA and are qualified. Proof: I don't have my AA yet (getting it this semester) but have 8 years of experience in the IT field, certifications, and recommendations. Couldn't get a job with Geek Squad and ended up working at Best Buy. After 8 months of ****ty pay, I said screw it and started my own business. Any degree is better than no degree. Also, save money, go to community college for your AA and then go to an undergrad school for your BA. I should have done that but was in such a rush to get out of Miami (hate that city) that I didn't use proper judgement and wasted a bunch of dough.
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yfan
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Postby yfan » Tue Sep 02, 2014 4:48 pm

Not to pile on the dating advice, but it IS entirely possible you *don't* want to date someone who is a really good friend (or she doesn't want to date you). That doesn't mean she thinks any less of you - but I hope you have made it clear to her that she can say no, and it wouldn't hurt your friendship.

I have a really close friend - and I mean, close enough that I was the first person he called when he got into a car accident and I was the one that went over and forced him to go to urgent care because he said his neck was hurting - and I asked him out once - a couple years or so back. He said no, and that he thought we'd be better as friends. And he was honest about that - in the time since, our friendship truly has grown into something I don't think I could live without today - at least I wouldn't want to think about it. Because of the honesty, it never got weird. I like his current boyfriend, and he likes mine - we hang out together sometimes.

Now, as to the Navy. If your heart says go, then go and join. At the end of the day, you have to follow your heart. I can tell you love this country. That you have chosen to serve it makes it all the better. It's not something everyone does or can do, and you would have the heartfelt thanks of a grateful nation.

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Snowman
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Postby Snowman » Tue Sep 02, 2014 7:01 pm

MemberSince99 wrote:I'd be careful Snowman. You are a great guy don't want to see you end up hurt. That's always a risk with this kind of thing.


As far as a degree, if I had things to do over I'd go to trade school. A hell of a lot cheaper and a quicker path to get a career going. Plumbing for example isn't going anywhere - it's not economically viable to send your plumbing system to India to have them do it, or China or Vietnam or some third world country with slave wages, and they can't just hire burger flippers or unlicensed people to do the work and just get anyone over here on an H1-B to do it for 50 cents an hour either.


You have to figure these days if there is any field they can either offshore or bring slaves over here to do to drive down the pay, EXCEPT business management, they will do it. Thus, everything is pretty much going to hell and we will become a third world country in a race to the bottom. My fervent hope is I manage to keep my job at a living wage long enough to pay off my house before age discrimination and the destruction of the middle class drives me out of the living wage labor force. It's a race against time. Fortunately my employer is currently looking for people and can't find any qualified ones they like so that's good to know, but that could change at any time which is the scary part. But I'd consider something along the lines of vocational and I'be VERY wary of taking on a lot of debt for an education these days. You're a smart guy I'm sure you will do well no matter what!


Member- I really appreciate the kind words. I realize that, but I've been hurt before so I know that feeling and am willing to take that risk. Like one of my friends told me long ago "Look, Whatever you want in life you have to take a risk for it. You want money? you have to earn it and give away your valuable time in order to get it, you want a great relationship? you have to risk being vulnerable and sometimes being hurt and hearing things you don't want to hear in order to have your relationship work". If you don't take it that chance and risk it, you'll never know.

That's probably what I'll be ending up doing if/when I get out of the service. Probably go to school to expand on what I learned in the Navy or try to get into LE. during that time.

onion wrote:A bachelor's by itself is still pretty useful even if you don't end up going to grad school. Lots of entry level jobs won't even consider you if you don't have an AA or BA and are qualified. Proof: I don't have my AA yet (getting it this semester) but have 8 years of experience in the IT field, certifications, and recommendations. Couldn't get a job with Geek Squad and ended up working at Best Buy. After 8 months of ****ty pay, I said screw it and started my own business. Any degree is better than no degree. Also, save money, go to community college for your AA and then go to an undergrad school for your BA. I should have done that but was in such a rush to get out of Miami (hate that city) that I didn't use proper judgement and wasted a bunch of dough.


Really? Everyone I talk to says it's good to a CC or a 4 year if you know what your going to school for. I don't want to keep on wasting my time If I don't why I'm going there, and that's why I'm looking at the Military as well, in addition to my other reasons for joining. Really? I've been to Miami before and I thought it was Ok. I try to explain that to my parents too that I can be 25-26 and still go to school and get my degree. Nothing wrong with going to school a little older and probably more mature IMO.

yfan wrote:Not to pile on the dating advice, but it IS entirely possible you *don't* want to date someone who is a really good friend (or she doesn't want to date you). That doesn't mean she thinks any less of you - but I hope you have made it clear to her that she can say no, and it wouldn't hurt your friendship.

I have a really close friend - and I mean, close enough that I was the first person he called when he got into a car accident and I was the one that went over and forced him to go to urgent care because he said his neck was hurting - and I asked him out once - a couple years or so back. He said no, and that he thought we'd be better as friends. And he was honest about that - in the time since, our friendship truly has grown into something I don't think I could live without today - at least I wouldn't want to think about it. Because of the honesty, it never got weird. I like his current boyfriend, and he likes mine - we hang out together sometimes.

Now, as to the Navy. If your heart says go, then go and join. At the end of the day, you have to follow your heart. I can tell you love this country. That you have chosen to serve it makes it all the better. It's not something everyone does or can do, and you would have the heartfelt thanks of a grateful nation.


Yfan,

That could be the case as well. Maybe she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now, especially since she just go out of one and maybe she is feeling vulnerable? I did tell her that regardless we'll always be friends if she says no OR if we're together but then after a while we're not. It won't change much. I just want to know if she feels the same or not...that's why I'm wondering if most girls take this long to decide when I guy asks them out. That's awesome, you guys hang out still! I see you live in SJ...you don't happen to be Indian/Pakistani do you?

As for the Navy, my heart is in it and I want to be a part of something bigger then myself. I really do love this country, simply because of all the opportunities we have here that we don't have in the motherland that we should be thankful for. It'd be an honor to serve and wear the uniform of this countries Navy.
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yfan
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Postby yfan » Tue Sep 02, 2014 7:26 pm

Snowman wrote:Yfan,

That could be the case as well. Maybe she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now, especially since she just go out of one and maybe she is feeling vulnerable? I did tell her that regardless we'll always be friends if she says no OR if we're together but then after a while we're not. It won't change much. I just want to know if she feels the same or not...that's why I'm wondering if most girls take this long to decide when I guy asks them out. That's awesome, you guys hang out still! I see you live in SJ...you don't happen to be Indian/Pakistani do you?

As for the Navy, my heart is in it and I want to be a part of something bigger then myself. I really do love this country, simply because of all the opportunities we have here that we don't have in the motherland that we should be thankful for. It'd be an honor to serve and wear the uniform of this countries Navy.

Ha! How'd you know I'm Indian? I am, actually. My family immigrated here when I was a teenager (15, to be exact).

Like I said, your heart is with service. Go serve. I bet your parents will come around. I know the culture a little bit: there's a lot of resistance and I know how that is. But at the end of the day, most parents will choose their child over their dogma.

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Postby onion » Tue Sep 02, 2014 7:41 pm

Snowman wrote:Really? Everyone I talk to says it's good to a CC or a 4 year if you know what your going to school for. I don't want to keep on wasting my time If I don't why I'm going there, and that's why I'm looking at the Military as well, in addition to my other reasons for joining. Really? I've been to Miami before and I thought it was Ok. I try to explain that to my parents too that I can be 25-26 and still go to school and get my degree. Nothing wrong with going to school a little older and probably more mature IMO.


I meant after the military, once you've got your stuff figured out. You might have just had the tourist experience, but living there was a nightmare. So hot, so boring, and everyone is so mean. You could also consider going to school while being in the Navy. Plenty of people do it here (Jacksonville is a huge Navy town) and even go to school in their uniforms. Even if you don't know what you want to do, you have required "general education" classes like English, Math, some cultural diversity stuff, etc. You can go to school at whatever pace you like and even do just one class per semester if you'd like. You're also free to pick any classes you find interesting, even if they're not related to your area of study. Its a good way to get a nice little start. You can also stop school and start back up once you're done with the general education classes and don't know what you want to do next. Also, its fine to go to college with an undeclared major. I'm about to be a junior and there's still people that are undeclared and are just taking classes that seem interesting to them.
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Snowman
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Postby Snowman » Tue Sep 02, 2014 9:19 pm

Yfan, good to meet a fellow Indian/ Pakistani here.

Lol. Back in my explorer days one of my friends was an CHP explorer sgt, now CHP officer. He's working in SJ and he was like "bro, there's a lot of Indians here. My beat partners indian, neighbors indian lol". I was guessing, didn't even know you were Indian. Which part are you from? Hopefully you arent too much older then me since you came at 15 lol. My grandparents are from Bangalore and my parents are Pakistani. I was born and raised here...and I speak Urdu fluently. I really hope they do come around, as I think it'll be a good expirience. You know how desi parents are...

Onion,

That's not the Miami I remember. I remember some good food, and a party type of atmosphere. I've been to Orlando as well. I like Florida but its too humid for me IMO. I'm actually considering that if I get based there...help me knock credits down quicker. I know, I just want to take a break from school and figure out the direction in my life before going bask. Your never too old and It's never too late to go back.
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Postby yfan » Wed Sep 03, 2014 10:58 am

Snowman wrote:Yfan, good to meet a fellow Indian/ Pakistani here.

Lol. Back in my explorer days one of my friends was an CHP explorer sgt, now CHP officer. He's working in SJ and he was like "bro, there's a lot of Indians here. My beat partners indian, neighbors indian lol". I was guessing, didn't even know you were Indian. Which part are you from? Hopefully you arent too much older then me since you came at 15 lol. My grandparents are from Bangalore and my parents are Pakistani. I was born and raised here...and I speak Urdu fluently. I really hope they do come around, as I think it'll be a good expirience. You know how desi parents are...

How do you know I'm older than you at all? Lol, jk, well if you're 21, I'm 10 years older. Hindi is one of my second languages, and it tends to be mutually intelligible with Urdu. But my native language is Bengali; I was born in Calcutta. Good to "meet" you, and good to know you have friends up here. I've got some friends in la, but I rarely see them... I dread the drive!

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Postby Snowman » Wed Sep 03, 2014 2:59 pm

Yfan,

Nice! Yes I'm 21. Ahh, so your a Bengali that was born in India? Cool. I've always wanted to go to India, but haven't had the opportunity to do so. Good to "meet" you as well. Where in LA? if your ever come down here, come visit me. Likewise, I hate the drive going up there.
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Postby yfan » Wed Sep 03, 2014 5:25 pm

Snowman wrote:Yfan,

Nice! Yes I'm 21. Ahh, so your a Bengali that was born in India? Cool. I've always wanted to go to India, but haven't had the opportunity to do so. Good to "meet" you as well. Where in LA? if your ever come down here, come visit me. Likewise, I hate the drive going up there.

Oh I'm not talking about the drive down. I'm talking about the experience of driving IN La! After I drove in La, I swore I would never complain about up traffic here. Lol. Btw, likewise - if you come up here, feel free to give me a ring/pm.

I am geographically challenged though, so I couldn't give you specific neighborhoods for my friends down there.

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Postby Snowman » Wed Sep 03, 2014 7:17 pm

Yfan,

Oh that! I dread it lol. I was coming back from a Trip over the summer and the minute before we were to land I saw the LA Traffic....never have I wanted to take the plane back to where we came lol. LA is hell for traffic..haha will do. I was actually in SJ/Palo Alto/ Hayward a few years back for a week or so.

Haha that's fine. I'm right off the Grapevine where Magic Mountain is.

Still no response either from the girl I asked. How much longer should I wait until I contact her? Should I text her first or should she text first? 3 weeks have gone by...
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