Down in a hole....feeling so small

For just about anything you want to get off your chest about credit cards.
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nismoZtuner
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Postby nismoZtuner » Tue Apr 22, 2014 8:10 pm

nismoZtuner wrote:'"The family who apps together files for bankruptcy together." - Dave Ramsey"


ahh I give up on reading- I lost interest..

Thanks though..
TU 752 (+4) - [5/9/2014] CK 726 - [11/24/14] EX 725 - [11/20/14] EQ 710
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otter
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Postby otter » Tue Apr 22, 2014 9:47 pm

djrez4 wrote: The comments we've all made in this thread are absolutely inappropriate and uncalled for. We're nothing but internet bullies, preying on an unfortunate soul (behind his back, I should add) who, while he may have played a role in creating the circumstances in which he now finds himself, has done absolutely nothing deserving of such animosity.


It's not really "internet bullying" to ridicule someone's online persona. The truth is that I am not "otter", member is not really "member", and that dumb kid on fico isn't really "BearsAndTurtles"... those are just our online identities we've chosen. What internet bullying really is is this: Britney posting unflattering pictures of Lindsay on facebook so the entire high school (and world for that matter) can see. You can start a post called "otter is gay!" and that's not cyberbullying because if everyone chimes in and I feel humiliated enough- I can either walk away from the forum or start a new identity as "ferret" and no one will know the difference. If you, however, knew my real name and started a post "(my real name) is gay!" that is cyberbullying because that's an identity I can't walk away from(not easily at least).

When you post on the internet... you post to the entire world. So we're not really posting "behind his back." Sure, maybe my posts were a bit "over the top", but B&T kind of opened himself up to this kind of humiliation. If you're going to do stupid things in real life, you probably shouldn't post about it online if you don't want others to laugh about it.
In my Wallet:
  • Amex PRG NPSL[3-14, bd 91]
  • Sallie Mae MC $8000[1-14]
  • Chase Freedom $4700[1-14]
  • Discover It $2750[8-13]
  • BoA UCF Alumni Cash Rewards $5000 [3-15]
Sometimes in my Wallet:
  • GM BuyPower WEMC $5000[9-14]
  • Wells Fargo Propel 365 Amex $7000[4-14]
  • Barclaycard Arrival WEMC $7000[3-14]
  • BoA Better Balance $3000[2-15]
In my sockdrawer: Amex BCE $1000[10-13, bd 91], OCCU Duck $10000 [11-13], The Sportsman's Guide Visa $8000[8-14], Chase Slate $4000 [9-14]Delta Gold Amex $2000 [2-15 bd 91], Diners Club MC $20000 [10-14] Commerce Bank Visa $2000 [3-15] Citi Double Cash $1000 [3-15]
Total CL: $90450

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Postby Metacard » Tue Apr 22, 2014 10:40 pm

otter wrote:It's not really "internet bullying" to ridicule someone's online persona. The truth is that I am not "otter", member is not really "member", and that dumb kid on fico isn't really "BearsAndTurtles"... those are just our online identities we've chosen. What internet bullying really is is this: Britney posting unflattering pictures of Lindsay on facebook so the entire high school (and world for that matter) can see. You can start a post called "otter is gay!" and that's not cyberbullying because if everyone chimes in and I feel humiliated enough- I can either walk away from the forum or start a new identity as "ferret" and no one will know the difference. If you, however, knew my real name and started a post "(my real name) is gay!" that is cyberbullying because that's an identity I can't walk away from(not easily at least).

When you post on the internet... you post to the entire world. So we're not really posting "behind his back." Sure, maybe my posts were a bit "over the top", but B&T kind of opened himself up to this kind of humiliation. If you're going to do stupid things in real life, you probably shouldn't post about it online if you don't want others to laugh about it.




I would agree that some of the examples of internet bullying that Otter mentions are far more egregious than anything that has happened on this thread. But that doesn't change the fact that the ridicule people are heaping on BearsandTurtles is pretty obnoxious.

Maybe it is not "internet bullying" what people are doing. But I think its pretty mean behavior nonetheless. Maybe, as Otter said, "B&T kind of opened himself up to this kind of humiliation" by posting on a public message board. But the fact that B&T's posts open himself to what Otter him/herself admittedly calls a "kind of humiliation" hardly justifies or excuses the fact that posters here have availed themselves of the chance to mock someone who is young, unsophisticated about finance, in genuine financial trouble (whether his fault or not) and clearly in some distress. Perhaps B&T did open himself up to "humiliation" but perhaps he opened himself up to "compassion" or at least a comment suggesting where he could find good advice.

Did B&T and his family do some stupid things? It sounds like it. But is mocking the B&T family the ethical response? B&T needs decent advice now. When someone asks for help/advice and we respond by mocking them, we are probably discouraging them from seeking help/advice in the future. We are probably discouraging them from getting the advice that might help them reform their ways or get out of their current mess. I don't see how such a response is good at either an individual or social level. We should encourage people to seek help when they need it, not mock them for it.

Moreover, if someone on this board did stupid things and sought help they probably wouldn't appreciate us laughing in their face the moment they are asking for assistance/advice. Most of us would probably hope for a bit of sympathy and compassion. And we should probably respond to B&T (if we haven't been banned from myfico) that way rather than with scorn and mocking, with the fake B&T parody account that was opened a few months ago, and similar stuff.

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Postby mrow » Wed Apr 23, 2014 1:46 am

djrez4 wrote:I've been thinking about this for the past few days and have come to the following:

The comments we've all made in this thread are absolutely inappropriate and uncalled for. We're nothing but internet bullies, preying on an unfortunate soul (behind his back, I should add) who, while he may have played a role in creating the circumstances in which he now finds himself, has done absolutely nothing deserving of such animosity.

Some of the posts here have been despicable.



Are you new to the Internet? You don't seem to grasp how it works.

This post sounds like it belongs on Oprah. Get a grip man, lighten up.

TheLethargicAge
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Postby TheLethargicAge » Wed Apr 23, 2014 1:18 pm

I've often wondered if Bears is actually a troll...
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otter
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Postby otter » Wed Apr 23, 2014 3:03 pm

TheLethargicAge wrote:I've often wondered if Bears is actually a troll...


Another good point... "on the internet, nobody knows you're a dog."

Metacard wrote:I would agree that some of the examples of internet bullying that Otter mentions are far more egregious than anything that has happened on this thread. But that doesn't change the fact that the ridicule people are heaping on BearsandTurtles is pretty obnoxious.

Maybe it is not "internet bullying" what people are doing. But I think its pretty mean behavior nonetheless. Maybe, as Otter said, "B&T kind of opened himself up to this kind of humiliation" by posting on a public message board. But the fact that B&T's posts open himself to what Otter him/herself admittedly calls a "kind of humiliation" hardly justifies or excuses the fact that posters here have availed themselves of the chance to mock someone who is young, unsophisticated about finance, in genuine financial trouble (whether his fault or not) and clearly in some distress. Perhaps B&T did open himself up to "humiliation" but perhaps he opened himself up to "compassion" or at least a comment suggesting where he could find good advice.

Did B&T and his family do some stupid things? It sounds like it. But is mocking the B&T family the ethical response? B&T needs decent advice now. When someone asks for help/advice and we respond by mocking them, we are probably discouraging them from seeking help/advice in the future. We are probably discouraging them from getting the advice that might help them reform their ways or get out of their current mess. I don't see how such a response is good at either an individual or social level. We should encourage people to seek help when they need it, not mock them for it.

Moreover, if someone on this board did stupid things and sought help they probably wouldn't appreciate us laughing in their face the moment they are asking for assistance/advice. Most of us would probably hope for a bit of sympathy and compassion. And we should probably respond to B&T (if we haven't been banned from myfico) that way rather than with scorn and mocking, with the fake B&T parody account that was opened a few months ago, and similar stuff.


I don't think it is unethical to mock B&T or his family. I think B&T is a symbol of everything which is wrong with myfico... Those people over there saw him talking about buying a big screen TV, yet no one bothered to counsel him about responsible borrowing. Obviously, we are all big time enthusiasts of credit cards here on this forum, but I always encourage people new to credit to avoid credit cards until they are ready. On fico, they tell people who have severely damaged credit to go ahead and apply for cards, but the fact is that people like that need to learn how to live within their means before they attempt to get more cards. When I was on fico (before I was banned for stupid reasons), I tried to get them to start a personal finance sub-forum, but they said it was "off-topic". Sure, whatever fico community leader morons... personal finance and responsible credit card usage have no connection?

But your point is taken about "compassion" and trying to help... so here's my advice to BearsAndTurtlesRtheBest should he happen to stubble upon this thread:

You're still young, so this isn't the end of the world. We all make mistakes, but the important thing is to learn from those mistakes. The lesson to be learned from this is that income should always be > spending. That goes for everyone- from Bill Gates on down. If you have a gazillion in available credit, it doesn't mean you should go out and buy a gazillion dollars worth of things... it means you should spend, at most, whatever amount is in your paycheck minus a penny. You can occasionally violate that rule, but if you do it too often, you're gonna get burned. And whatever you don't spend you should save/invest. That way, when you buy that big screen TV you want, you can put it on a credit card, get rewards for doing so, and pay in full when the statement hits (or before). No debt, no guilt.

Oh, and it's best to keep your finances separately from your family's finances. That's all part of growing up. You're eighteen now, you should try to cut the financial umbilical cord and gradually have entirely separate finances. That doesn't mean you shouldn't help them if they are in need. That just means you should strive for independence.


There I've given him better advice than the people on fico would ever give.
In my Wallet:
  • Amex PRG NPSL[3-14, bd 91]
  • Sallie Mae MC $8000[1-14]
  • Chase Freedom $4700[1-14]
  • Discover It $2750[8-13]
  • BoA UCF Alumni Cash Rewards $5000 [3-15]
Sometimes in my Wallet:
  • GM BuyPower WEMC $5000[9-14]
  • Wells Fargo Propel 365 Amex $7000[4-14]
  • Barclaycard Arrival WEMC $7000[3-14]
  • BoA Better Balance $3000[2-15]
In my sockdrawer: Amex BCE $1000[10-13, bd 91], OCCU Duck $10000 [11-13], The Sportsman's Guide Visa $8000[8-14], Chase Slate $4000 [9-14]Delta Gold Amex $2000 [2-15 bd 91], Diners Club MC $20000 [10-14] Commerce Bank Visa $2000 [3-15] Citi Double Cash $1000 [3-15]
Total CL: $90450

Nixon
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Postby Nixon » Tue Nov 25, 2014 8:18 am

otter wrote:Honestly, I don't think I could have hacked into B&T's fico account and come up with something funnier than what he's already posted- at least not without getting B&T banned by 09 or one of the other overzealous mods (ie: "Me and DS are expecting our first child next month- or at least I think it's mine: it could be DD's baby. Do we have to wait til the baby's born to include the child in our family bankruptcy?")


Sorry to dig up a thread from the graveyard but this and the Big screen in a single-wide comments just about killed me. LOL.
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hockeyplayr
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Postby hockeyplayr » Tue Nov 25, 2014 9:23 am

his hope was very "loose" as opposed to tight i suppose...
Credit Scores: Equifax - 736 (October Fico) | Experian 726 (October Fico) | TU - 758 (October Fico)

Credit Lines: Diners Club 20k | Citi DC 9.1k | SDFCU 5k | Penfed 7k | Amex BCE - 10.5k | Chase Marriot - 5.2k | CSP - 6.5k |Discover IT - 9k | Sallie Mae 3.8k | Citi TYP - 3.5k | BOA 123 - 4.9k | Total Rewards 3.25k|

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Postby popamode72 » Tue Nov 25, 2014 9:36 am

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hockeyplayr
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Postby hockeyplayr » Tue Nov 25, 2014 9:39 am



now i know why his post count is so high. He never figured out how to multi quote. So many thank yous...
Credit Scores: Equifax - 736 (October Fico) | Experian 726 (October Fico) | TU - 758 (October Fico)

Credit Lines: Diners Club 20k | Citi DC 9.1k | SDFCU 5k | Penfed 7k | Amex BCE - 10.5k | Chase Marriot - 5.2k | CSP - 6.5k |Discover IT - 9k | Sallie Mae 3.8k | Citi TYP - 3.5k | BOA 123 - 4.9k | Total Rewards 3.25k|



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