please be my free financial advisor

For just about anything you want to get off your chest about credit cards.
8 posts
MemberSince99
Centurion Member
Centurion Member
 
Posts: 4913
Joined: Sun May 20, 2012 4:35 pm
Location: WI

please be my free financial advisor

Postby MemberSince99 » Thu Jul 03, 2014 6:28 am

Hello Everyone,


I'm bored so I'm trolling the internet with dumb questions. But I'm wonderful so that makes it ok - my mom even says I am.


So first question - please be my free financial advisor and give me all the information I need to become wealthy as I deserve to be. Without doubt I'm headed for astronomical success, so all the credit (and more importantly, money) will be deservedly mine, but I would like someone's perspective to help me get there. My goal is to become a trillionaire before I leave college. I think I'm actually setting my goals a little low here, but please humor me as I'm new. Please point me in the right direction to achieve this goal by spending hours of research of your own time, which most likely goes for about 7.85 an hour these days anyway, and supply a list of links for me at least equal in size to the last chapter of "War and Peace", highlighted by importance both in descending order and by color where Red is critical, Yellow is important and Green is optional/informational. I'd thank you for your time if it were actually worth anything, but you should be happy to do it just because you are helping someone as terrific as me.


MemberSince99
Centurion Member
Centurion Member
 
Posts: 4913
Joined: Sun May 20, 2012 4:35 pm
Location: WI

Postby MemberSince99 » Thu Jul 03, 2014 8:37 am

I was thinking that it would be best since I don't want to bother to read what you send me that you provide me the information in powerpoint slide form that I can skip over whatever I feel to be beneath me. Or even better yet provide that with an audiobook format. I want to do all the right things but don't want to get bogged down in details so I would expect you to go the extra mile and basically eliminate any work at all that I might have to do as I'm far too important for that. I also expect you to jump all over this NOW and I expect results by COB today.


Also are we expecting any unforeseen problems with this?

MemberSince99
Centurion Member
Centurion Member
 
Posts: 4913
Joined: Sun May 20, 2012 4:35 pm
Location: WI

Postby MemberSince99 » Thu Jul 03, 2014 10:35 am

Oh one more note along these lines - I'm really looking forward to the day the CEO of Amex flies down to beg me to take the Centurion card in person. I will expect plenty of groveling on his knees and him to lick the luxurious leather soles of my designer shoes and to do it on national TV when I hold my press conference to tell everyone who hasn't heard of me (how could that be?) just how freaking wonderful I truly am. If he does that, and he's very lucky, I MAY accept the card.


Being able to be picky just naturally comes with the level of success I'm capable of.

User avatar
djrez4
Centurion Member
Centurion Member
 
Posts: 1468
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 12:20 pm
Location: United States

Postby djrez4 » Thu Jul 03, 2014 10:45 am

Orange juice futures.

Sell, Mortimer, sell!
[RIGHT][size=100]- Sapphire Preferred - Freedom - Ink - Platinum - Everyday Preferred -[/size]
[/RIGHT]

jrmsu
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
 
Posts: 79
Joined: Sun May 04, 2014 9:53 am
Location: Mississippi

Postby jrmsu » Thu Jul 03, 2014 12:50 pm

Can you tell me my chances of getting approved for the Centurion card?

Information about me: I have a cat. That should be enough right?

So what do you think my chances are? 21.348%? Be specific.
My Cards:

Discover It - $8,450 (9/13)
BankAmericard Cash Rewards Visa Signature - $5,000 (4/14)
Chase Freedom - $3,000 (5/14)
AMEX Hilton HHonors - $16,500 (6/14)


MemberSince99
Centurion Member
Centurion Member
 
Posts: 4913
Joined: Sun May 20, 2012 4:35 pm
Location: WI

Postby MemberSince99 » Thu Jul 03, 2014 3:56 pm

I'd suggest for best approval odds, you wait until you've waxed your cat's fur to apply.

supercoolman
Centurion Member
Centurion Member
 
Posts: 176
Joined: Thu Jun 12, 2014 12:48 am
Location: South Bay Area

Postby supercoolman » Thu Jul 03, 2014 10:36 pm

when your cat becomes lion, your VISA black will become centurion

haikuginger
Centurion Member
Centurion Member
 
Posts: 129
Joined: Wed Feb 08, 2012 8:09 am
Location: Norman, OK

Postby haikuginger » Thu Jul 03, 2014 11:17 pm

One word: Bitcoins.



Return to “General Credit Card Talk”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests